These are the agreement between y’all and us here at Paddle Creek Games.
- We promise to cash your checks and takes your moolah.
- We don’t promise to ever return your money.
- We promise to try to provide a solid fun game for you to pay to play in…
- …but updates and crashes are gonna happen, and that’s life, not a lawsuit.
- We will be subject to the laws of the US and other national laws as appropriate and if they conflict with these terms, we fucked up, but we’ll do what we gotta.
- Don’t misuse our services. We can kick you out for being a dickbag whenever we like, and we get to define what dick and bag mean.
- Using our stuff doesn’t give you any rights to it.
- Don’t break the law. I mean, seriously. Don’t break the law.
- If you create stuff in our games, you can’t sue us over using it (you’d think this doesn’t happen, but …)
- As much as we can, we take no legal responsibility for anything that happens, well, anywhere. We’re teflon, baby. Don’t try to stick stuff on us.
- You agree you aren’t going to do anything that makes folks want to try to sue *us*, and if the do sue us for something you do, you agree to pay for any damages (so there).
- REDACTED on order from the VeilCorp
- If you do try to sue us, that’s not okay. Instead, we’re gonna arbitrate, and you are too! In legalese, “Any controversy or claim arising out of or relating to this contract, or the breach thereof, shall be settled by arbitration administered by the American Arbitration Association in accordance with its Commercial [or other] Arbitration Rules, and judgment on the award rendered by the arbitrator(s) may be entered in any court having jurisdiction thereof.”
- We will likely change this TOS, to something more professional looking, but which says the same thing, but with more $4(Canadian) words. We’ll try to update you when this happens, but if you miss it, or you see it and keep playing the game, you’ve agreed to it.
We know this TOS seems flip, but it’s actually pretty clear as to the deal with our future customers. We really like you, and want to make a fun game for you. That means sometimes there’ll be some trolls like our own general counsel that we’ll boot out of the game for being trollish in their trollingtivity.
FYI: TOS means “Terms of Service” and is largely the same as “Terms and Conditions”. It doesn’t mean “The Original Series” of Star Trek. The reality is that we probably like JJ Abrams’ TOS crew better than the ESP obsessed, soft lens antics of the late 60s. Notwithstanding the obvious shout out to Space Seed, which was amazing as all get out. You know, in many ways, we acknowledge that the best Trek was probably Galaxy Quest, followed by DS9. DS9 the first new thing in the trek universe since those first shows warped their ways into our brains. But I digress…